


Drop our Guards

by crybaby4life



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Drabble, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, POV Carl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6549280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crybaby4life/pseuds/crybaby4life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carl and Daryl share a moment on a supply run.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drop our Guards

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gosh, I am so nervous. This is the first thing I've posted on here, it's just a random little drabble that I thought up one day. I don't know if technically this is their first kiss, but it's definitely towards the beginning of a Carl/Daryl relationship.
> 
> I don't know if this story will go anywhere, but feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think! I also take criticism if it's meant to be helpful :)

We were taking a break; we were joking and laughing, I was leaning back against a wall. It was the first time we had gone out for supplies just the two of us, and we both knew the time was coming for us to be heading back. But we took a moment for ourselves. I had my hand rested above my head and I was smiling. I think I was playing coy, I think I was trying to get him to come closer. And I think he understood, and wanted to, too, because soon we were standing face-to-face, soon he was hovering over me.

He put his hand on my wrist above my head. I’d never felt so self-conscious as I did in that moment about how young I was, wishing that somehow he’d find me attractive in all my thin fourteen-year-oldness. I was heaving breaths inside my blue sweater and the fingers of my hand were twitching, feeling the smooth skin of his hand against mine. I wanted him to kiss me. Oh, Lord, how I wanted him to just lean in and kiss me. But I was afraid. I was afraid to move because in one tiny instant he could break my heart into a million shattered pieces. I was afraid because if he didn’t kiss me, I would go back to the torment of wanting and wondering for something to happen. I was afraid because if he did kiss me, was it all a joke? What if it was a fleeting minute of goodness and then it left me teased forever? But what if it was truly mine and I found some way to ruin it all in stupidity? Or what if it was all I’d ever wanted and there was just no way that I could hold it all in? The world was in my hands, was right in front of me, and I couldn’t take it because I was afraid I would snap it to pieces.

But I had to. I knew I had to. Was that a smile on his face? The faintest grin? Was he enjoying it? Was he making fun of me? I couldn’t help it. I was now leaning forward. I could already feel how it would be to connect with his mouth. My left hand reached towards him, for his other arm, his waist? I wasn’t sure. But I just hovered there as his smile got wider.

And then he moved. He finally moved. His hand was slipping to my forearm and now his face was just an inch from mine, looking right into my eyes. And now I wanted so badly to turn my head away from him. My breathing was getting so heavy, it must have been ridiculous. My freckles were probably so stupid. But I couldn’t move my face at all. I just kept shifting closer, feeling like I was about to explode any minute.

And then I had to again. I reached with my right hand and was stroking his arm. My brave body was doing things completely by itself.

He smiled and kissed me and my eyes were still open. I felt his lips and saw his eyes close. His lips were dryer than I’d expected, and I was kissing them back. My right hand was now struggling to reach higher. I didn’t know if my fingers were worthy of feeling his long unwashed hair, but I did anyway. And he was touching me too, gently brushing my ear with his hand, like I’d only dreamed of. I wasn’t even paying attention to if I was kissing him back or not now, I was just running my hand across his shoulder and collarbone and impossibly large biceps. I was closing my eyes and my wish had been granted and I was allowed to touch him back for an eternity of time, and also no time at all.

He was pulling back from me and I remembered that he was still there and my hand just froze in place while I stood there blinking at him. And he was still smiling and a breath puffed through my chest. I laughed. I laughed and I smiled back because my lungs were flooding with oxygen and relief. He chuckled and there wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in his eyes. I couldn’t believe what an enormous burden was off me now that he had kissed me. There were no questions filling up my brain anymore. 

“How was that, kid?” he asked with his light charm. Now that I had my breath back I was feeling like my normal awkward self and I looked down. 

I chuckled and said, “Good,” as I turned back up to him. I was nervous again but I firmly kept my hand on his shoulder. If anything, I was grabbing it more tightly. 

He smirked and nodded and said back, “Good,” and I saw the familiar and almost imperceptible discomfort return to his eyes. It was a discomfort with the pretense that seemed to still be expected, even when the world had ended, which he always masked with disdain. But he’d let you see through it if he really wanted.

He dropped a hand to my hip and leaned in a last time. I thought maybe we’d kiss again, but instead he just pressed his lips to my forehead. With a pat on my shoulder, he pulled away and said, “Better head back now.” His tone was serious but I could still see the glimmer in his eyes as he walked away, forcing my right arm to fall into the empty air below. The whole thing was fleeting like my predictions, but none of my fears were there anymore. I felt delighted. Though he was back to business, I wasn’t unassured of us at all. It actually felt more reassuring that he was covering it up for now. I realized that if he had given it all up for the moment, I would have known for sure that that’s all there was.

I didn’t want to wait for the next time we were able to let our guards down again, but I was completely content to keep playing the game. I stood up from the wall behind me and marched along after him. I knew it wasn’t over. I was sure of it.


End file.
